Tomorrow is Blogging Against Disablism Day. I won't be blogging tomorrow, due to moving into our house, so I'm posting today instead!
When I was pregnant with Kate, we had a blood test done, and the results showed that for this particular pregnancy, our chances of having a baby with Down Syndrome were much higher than they should have been for my age. There was still a 99% chance everything was OK, but because we fell in the "high risk" group, we were offered a detailed ultrasound and an amniocentesis. We had the ultrasound, but declined the amniocentesis due to the small miscarriage risk associated with the procedure. So we waited 4 more months until Kate was born, not knowing anything for sure, grappling with what it would mean if she did indeed have Down Syndrome. Through reading books, message boards, and blogs, I came to the reassuring conclusion that should my child have a disability, there would likely be shock/anger/depression but the journey would end in acceptance and joy. I highly recommend you read this blog, Lovely and Amazing, for an inside look at such a journey.
If you only read one post, read this one.
If you want to be inspired more, read this post.
Proof and Certainty
1 day ago
5 comments:
When a child is diagnosed parents go through many of the same stages one goes through with death. At minimum there's denial, anger, and acceptance. You have to move through them all to move on.
You can play the blame game - it's my fault, it's his fault, it's God's fault . . . but it often just is what it is.
Having children with disabilities can be difficult, but they have many gifts that other children don't have.
I don't have any trouble loving my children with their disabilities. I just worry about their futures.
Kudos to all the special parents out there!
Lori, Mom of:
Adam (Asperger's Syndrome)
Evan (Cognitive Impaired)
and
Nathan (Pervasive Developmental Disorder)
I hope your move goes ok!
Thanks for this. I blogged about my brother. :)
I can't tell you how wonderful it is to hear about families that were faced with the possibility of Down syndrome prenatally and decided to continue their pregnancies. I am as pro-choice as a person can get, but the 90% termination statistic for prenatally diagnosed cases of T21 hurts my heart in a way few things do.
Why is it so painful? It's because 90% of the families that receive a prenatal diagnosis seem to believe that life with an extra chromosome would signify more suffering than joy. There's just no room for hope in that statistic and no room for my Emma Jayne. Even if that fear was realized and Emma's life drastically changed and did represent more pain than bliss (which I doubt with every bone in my body), well then I will always have had this time with her, won't I?
And wowza, has it been lovely and amazing.
Thank you for participating in BADD. Thank you for being here.
Lori--thank you for sharing about your boys--we always enjoy seeing them. You are such a fantastic mother.
Deliverance--I'm so glad you blogged about your brother--what a wonderful sister you are.
Emily--thank you for blogging about your lovely and amazing Emma Jayne. My daughter loves seeing the photos and videos of her on your blog! Hopefully families such as yours can help others see that the rewards far outweigh the challenges when it comes to children with Down Syndrome. I am also disturbed by the termination rate, even though I know that only applies to those who have taken prenatal testing as far as the diagnostic tests. Although I know there can be benefit in having prenatal testing done, the whole enterprise often comes across as a "search and destroy mission" and that is very very sobering and depressing. We are so glad beautiful Emma Jayne is in the world!
Hi there! You had posted a comment on my blog Julian's Journey. http://blog.gretchenmather.com. I just wanted to say thanks for stopping by and reading about our life with our little Julian! He is 15 months old as of Sept 2011 and doing awesome. And your comment was spot on....this is what you said: Thank you for sharing your story! I was also told there was a higher chance my baby would have DS, and my husband and I declined the amnio. Our baby girl did not have DS after all, however, as I said here at http://ortlundsincanada.blogspot.com/2007/04/blogging-against-disablism-day.html, I suspect I might have responded similarly. I know I would have loved my baby to pieces in the end, just as you do. It’s so important to have stories like yours out there. You didn’t sugarcoat anything, and yet, anyone can see how amazing it is that you have Julian in your life!
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