Interesting guest post on the Jesus Creed blog. I'd be interested in your thoughts.
I know that for me, I require vast amounts of peace and quiet and space in order to function at my best. This is probably my biggest challenge in parenting small children. I was talking to a friend who asked, "Can you have alone time when Will naps?" Well, yes, but that is just a drop in the bucket compared to what I need. And that need can feel almost as strong as the need to sleep--it's hard to override. But if I'm not functioning at my best, it's only my family who realizes this. I wonder how much more of a struggle it is for people in a professional/ministry setting to feel like they need to operate in ways that are counter to their personalities?
I think the questions about how personality affects our spiritual practices are also very interesting!
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I think a lot about how my being an introvert will affect being a Dad once Esther and I start a family. It seems like it might be harder if you had twins, or a really extraverted child. I'm thankful Esther is an extravert - she balances me out a ton!
Yes, you'll have a nice balance there! Eric is even more of an introvert than I am, AND Kate seems to be quite the extrovert! So it's challenging, especially in this modern day, when so many of us don't have extended family around to balance us further. A mother in the house alone with children is not the norm historically or globally. I DO think introverted parents have a lot to offer kids, don't get me wrong. I found it easy being the parent of one baby/toddler. It was a lot like being by myself but with a companion! What's harder for me now is chattiness, sibling arguing, and the lack of time alone or as a couple. I wouldn't trade it though! It's worth it!
Any thoughts on introversion and ministry, Gavin?
Yes, I have wondered if Kate was a wrong extravert. Is Will more introverted do you think? It might be too young to tell. Thats one thing I am interested to see, how early on you can start picking up on these things. One thing Esther and I think about is how we would respond to the challenge of having a child who is different on the middle two from us, S-T, since we are both N-Fs. That could make communication a challenge.
They say that many INFJ's are pastors. I think the Introversion can be a challenge, because so much of the pastorate is relational, but it can also help one focus better on the parts of ministry that require long periods of alone time, like sermon preparation. The Lord has helped me grow in my ability to stretch, too - to absorb more relational capacity when needed. There is a really good on church personality dynamics by one of my professors - I will have to show it to you this summer if you are interested!
Yes, I think God can use people of all personality types in ministry. I would guess the problem comes if a congregation expects to find everything in one person. Knowledge of personality type could help in that situation, as in any workplace. I would definitely be interested in any info you have--I was googling this as well and saw there's a book coming out in the fall about Introverts in the Church.
I don't know about Will's personality yet--perhaps too early to tell. I think Kate may be ESFJ like her Mayme--but then I wonder if intuition would show up in a 5 year old or if they all appear to be sensing. And then again, maybe she will turn out to be an introvert--my Mom tells me she definitely thought I was an extrovert when I was young. I think you're right about S and T possibly being a challenge for you all. I've heard it can be difficult if one of the members of a family is significantly different than the others--they may feel like a square peg in a round hole--again, I think knowledge of type is so helpful. I'm sure you and Esther will do well with whatever children God gives you!
Being the most extroverted in a house FULL of introverts, I wonder what it would be like to have an introverted person in the house. Probably peaceful. Sounds nice.
As to your question regarding leaders, I think an unfortunate byproduct of the media, probably starting with the JFK/RMN debate in the early 60's, a leader must be able to show the stuff.
A politician, especially, must do sound-bites and Leno and SNL and whatever to be nationally viable. Regardless of their beliefs, character, etc. It's unfortunate.
Thanks Michael! So is Laurie an introvert? If so, I'm surprised!
Thanks for the perspective on personality in politics. I've heard some of our best presidents in the past wouldn't do as well today because of the need to be in the spotlight, do televised debates, etc.
Hi all... Fascinating that one would think that any well balanced, self-aware person, be they I or E, would have more challenges than the other in any given role or position. We all bring our challenges and gifts to the table, whatever it is and I have many times been amazed at how effective a certain type of person is in a position, be it family or professional, that seems to be more suited toward the other type (I or E). Seems to me it is all about being balanced, developed and aware and not about which actual type one is. We've all met clueless extroverts as well as introverts. I assume my minister take the time to know and develop themselves to that, whether they are I or E they can use those strengths and as thoroughly develop those weaknesses so as to effectively address and interact with their congregations.
As an ENTJ, I am continuously aware that not everyone easily thinks abstractly or that my energy may be too direct or rambunctious... or that speaking about small details and not the "global picture" may be the way to go...whether it be to a class I am teaching, my five year old nephew, a Real Estate client...or my partner who needs just as much social down time as any other introvert out there.
I don't expect those around me to be either I or E OR J or P for that matter - just aware enough of themselves and those around them.
Cheers!
I'm completely right there with you....I have to have some time alone to recharge. FWIW, I found this sort of struggle to be more intense when the children were smaller. Now, it's much easier for me to find the right balance of together/alone time.
Someone mentioned a book about introverts in the church that's coming out in the fall. I wrote it, and you can find out more about it here: http://www.ivpress.com/cgi-ivpress/book.pl/code=3702
Oh, Michael meant "FULL of extroverts"... He, of course, is the most extroverted of the 7 of us... tied with Marg. Jack and I tie for the least extroverted, the ones that need the most "down time" without anyone else making noise. I hear ya on that one for sure! Five kids in the house makes quite the rarity!
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